I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
