i love accidental penises.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
