She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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