If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
