it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
