4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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