Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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