if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
