you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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