I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
