I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
