you have to choose: penises or morals?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
