yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
