hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
