It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
