Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
