did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
