Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
