Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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