I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
