think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
