Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
