you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
