He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
