I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
