Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am one with the molecules
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
