I'm really into asian looking animals
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
