Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
