guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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