i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
