my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Who died my cat blue again?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
tell me about the fingering
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