hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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