My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Blood and glitter go together right?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Randomize
