Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
no you cant smoke seaweed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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