Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
