My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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