I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
