The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So squirting runs in the family.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
