And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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