need another drink. this is the easiest way
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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