cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
