When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
