She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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