just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
