he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
