yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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