i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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