I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
