just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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