Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
