i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
