He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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