i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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