so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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