Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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