thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
two words...techno handjob
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
