please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
where does the pee come out of this thing
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So vagazzling was a success
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
