Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
