I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
