Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
