I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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