so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
