It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
