Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
