I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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