My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
