Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
