i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
my liver is dry heaving
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
