i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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