just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
